The Present…
The Past…
Thoughts on November…
Posted on | December 21, 2011 | No Comments
Self-doubt is quite a forté of mine. I can criticize myself out of just about anything and while there’s value in being humble, there’s also a line to where that logic becomes a grand squandering of… I was going to say gifts, but I what really mean is the act of doing what makes you happy.
I’ve always thought of myself as a writer. I think in scenes and I frame the world around me in stories. I’m happiest when I am imagining things: it’s simply how I’m wired. So you’d think the act of doing what truly makes me happy would be paramount to anything else in my day to day life. In a way it is, and yet, for something so important, I’ve grossly neglected it.
So along came NaNoWriMo, an event I’ve been meaning to entertain (notice I didn’t say “do” or “participate in”) for years. Melinda had keyed me into it originally (a fact that would never surprise anyone that knows her) and every year after that she would ask me gently “are you going to do it this year?” and then follow up with an even gentler “I think you should”.
I won’t bore you with the usual excuses I came up with for not doing it, but I will tell you about the reason why I finally did. It’s quick, I promise. :)
I needed to prove something to myself.
That’s the long and the short of it. It’s so easy to define yourself in a sentence or, in my case, a word. But the sum of all of your parts doesn’t even come close to that definition does it? We are all SO many things, and thank god right? Being just one thing, or one concept, would be a pretty narrow scope to be captured in.
So this year I wanted to prove to myself that not only could I write, but that I was in fact a writer. I’ve been writing all my life, off and on and at my own pace. But NaNo takes that pace, your comfort zone and your habits and throws them completely out the window. So if you want to complete the challenge and you value sleep, you need write pretty much everyday… for the entire month of November.
So on November 1st I came to the keyboard with an idea that I liked and I simply began writing. I didn’t even have an ending (I always have an ending) and, like anything new, I had some stumbling to do. But eventually the words came and they didn’t (and later wouldn’t) stop. After I turned off my inner editor (and critic) I fell into a daily groove and for the first time ever I really felt like I was doing what I was made to do.
I say that not because I’m necessarily any good at it. Like anything, it’s a process and I have a long way to go. No, I say it because it felt right. The entire time, throughout to process it felt like I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Was it hard? Absolutely! I already spend 8 hours a day on front of screen to help pay my mortgage and eat. To go home and spend 3 to 5 hours more seems obscene. But here’s the thing; it didn’t feel that way. Sure I was stretched thin at times (WAY thin somedays), but in the end, it was absolutely worth it. As I wrote before, I finished early and in truth, I’m not even done!
But that was never the point really, to finish the story.
No, the point was to write. It was to challenge myself to BE a writer. And it was on that level that I approached all of this. I’d have been proud even if I hadn’t reached my goal really. It was more the commitment to writing everyday for a month that mattered more to me at the outset than “finishing” the challenge. In fact, I didn’t even anticipate succeeding at writing fifty thousand words. In fact, I was pretty sure I wouldn’t. But once I allowed myself to dive in uninhibited, it all came organically, so if anyone deserves a trophy it would be whatever popped the idea for the story into my head.
Me? I’m just glad I did the whole thing! Every second I spent in November was a second of growth. I learned so much during that time, and not just about writing. I learned about my limits, the depths of my creativity, who really cares about who I am as a person, that I will probably always write in some form or capacity until I can do it full time… So much.
But the one thing I learned the most of all? That one is easy.
The one thing I learned the most is that I need to give myself permission to do certain things. Permission to do what nurtures me. Permission to partake in what feeds my soul.
It was this admission that lead me to see that I’ve neglected what makes me tick for a very, very long time. It was quite the eye opener.
So, if you are on the fence about participating in NaNaWriMo or if you are looking to comb the depths of what kind of writer you are, I fully endorse giving yourself permission to dive head first into the event. It’ll invoke just about every emotion you’ve ever had about yourself (as well as a few new ones maybe), but its so worth it. So go on and give your creativity a great big bear hug!
But don’t forget to save one for yourself.
That too, is worth it. Always.
Tags: events > NaNoWriMo > ruminations > thoughts > writing
And There You Have It!
Posted on | November 28, 2011 | 1 Comment
Well, I completed the challenge that NaNoWriMo threw my way and I couldn’t be more thrilled. The only issue? The story is done yet! :D I wish I could say I was surprised but, in truth, I knew the novel would be over 50,000 words. It’s now looking like it’ll be more like 65k, or somewhere around there.
So the writing continues! I am currently writing up a retrospect post that I can’t wait to share with you all about the whole experience. That’ll come soon, I promise! But until then, I just wanted to share that I’d finished the task.
If you’d like to see how the progress of the novel is coming along feel free to check out the widget in the sidebar. It’s a live word count that’ll be updating whenever I finish writing for the night.
Special thanks to those who supported me through out the process and SUPER special thanks go to my best friend Mel, who picked up a ton of slack while I was writing every night this month. Love you honey!
So, the experiment was all worth while. The novel is titled “THOUGHT” and it should be finished soon!
Thanks for coming by,
Tad
What’s Going on in November?
Posted on | October 24, 2011 | No Comments
NaNoWriMo that’s what!
I’ve been meaning to participate for a few years now (pretty much since I ever read about it) and this year just felt… I don’t know… it just felt “right”. Like it was time. So I’ll most likely be dropping into some pretty deep radio silence.
I know… I know… what else is new Tad?
If I’m up for it, I’ll put up a post I’ve had in the works for a little while now, but if you don’t see it by next Monday, you won’t be seeing until December. ;)
Life post-Scandinavia has been interesting to say the least, but, I’m doing well. More soon, I promise!
I’ve been itching to write in this space but I’ve been saving up my creative juices for at least 50,000 words next month.
Until then… wish me luck!
Tags: hopes > NaNoWriMo > novel writing > pipe dreams > the simple act of doing > writing
Saying Goodbye to Midnight…
Posted on | September 23, 2011 | 9 Comments
Two nights ago we said good bye to our old cat and dear friend, Midnight.
We came home from our 3 week trip and found that she was purring madly. But after spending some time with her it was clear to us that something was amiss, so we took her to the emergency vet. They quickly did a physical examination and found a pretty large tumor by her digestive organs that appeared to be a bullseye for cancer. We could’ve put her through a barrage of tests but the doctor felt she wouldn’t survive more than a day or two, much less an operation.
So we let her go.
For those that knew Midnight you might’ve known her as a very chatty cat. Constantly talking if she felt the need. And she did. Quite often. She stayed away from people most of the time when she was younger, preferring the company of Mel and I to other folks or animals. That warmed up a little more as she got older but that mostly consisted of her showing herself to dear friends and family. She was never mean, she was just private, much like her parents.
She could also be quite elusive when she needed to be. So much so, a lot of folks who’d known us for years hadn’t even known we owned cat. In a lot of ways I think Middy liked it that way. Either, meowing her head off upstairs when guests were here, only to come downstairs after everyone left to be with us. Or simply going silent, disappearing when she needed to dissolve away and be alone.
I often envied her ability to do that.
She was also quite old. Mel got her full grown from a shelter when she attended college in New Hampshire. She had rented her first apartment and needed some company while I was away finishing up at UVM. Melinda picked Middy because she danced for her when she reached down to pet her. In fact she danced like that all the way until the end (I like to think she’s doing it right now). We estimate she was anywhere between 15 or 18 years old when she passed, so she lived a good long life.
Still, we feel her absense acutely. For such a small creature she had a huge presense. She slept with us everynight, joined Mel for yoga every morning, and always seemed to curl up next to me whenever I/we read a book, took a nap, or watched a movie on the couch together. She was slight, but heavy at the same time, constantly letting us know she existed in this big world. She also loved to play at the most random times. Mostly by herself, but also with us once and a while.
She was many, many things. But mostly she was one of our oldest friends and advocates. She was ever critical of the trivial things we did (moving around in bed, not paying attention to her quick enough, closing the bathroom door when we showered…etc), but she also was the quickest to forgive. For such a small package she seemed to have endless space in her heart for us and all of our faults. We’ll always love her for everything she was, good and bad.
She was truly one of a kind and as sad as we are with her absense, we are grateful for the space she made for us in her tiny world. We’ll miss you Midnight. I’m not sure where you went, but where ever it is, they got damn lucky this week.
Thank you for everything you gave us. I can only hope we gave you a fraction of the same.
Tags: day to day > family > introspection > midnight > reflection > ruminations
Just When You Thought This Was Turning Into a Diary…
Posted on | July 24, 2011 | 4 Comments
It’s been a while since I did a geek-centric post. Contrary to my last few posts, I’m still very steeped in all things tech. ;) So, without further ado…
I came across this post in my Twitter travels the other day and it has since stuck with me. It was a post from a fellow WordPress developer and he was talking about a concept that came from the lips of Matt Mullenweg (co-founder of WordPress, an open-source CMS that runs literally millions of websites on the web including the site you are reading right now.) and, though simple, it completely encompasses why I am so into WordPress as a platform and continue to support it in my own small way.
The quote came after an attendee stood up and spoke to Mr. Mullenweg stating that he found WP’s baked in image uploader to be cumbersome at best (paraphrased the hell out of this, but it’s a notorious nitpick. I feel exactly the same way. I back this guy’s complaint 100%). Most creators of software would first correct you on your assertion and sling some response that was akin to “I hear you, but first, you need to realize that you are doing it wrong…”.
Mullenweg said this:
“The software is wrong, not the people.”
Go ahead, read that again.
The creator of the most popular web platform on the planet, when presented with the opportunity, sided with the users of his software before even considering the situation might be otherwise.
I can’t even begin to talk about how completely against the grain this logic goes in web development. There are a TON of egos in this field, especially amongst the heavy hitters out there. Mullenweg could’ve easily, and publicly it sounds like, made this guy out to be a dunce stating that “other users accomplish things every day with images in WordPress, why can’t you?” and at face value, he’d be right.
But at the core of the issue he’d have been dead wrong. Software in the last few years has evolved into complete UI/UX (user interface/user experience) packages. Gone are the days where software is heralded for what it can simply do. Nope. The lens is now focused on whether or not the software can accomplish it’s task simply and, furthermore, intuitively. The latter has always been the view and goal of Mullenweg’s WordPress project ever since I’ve followed him and his progress years ago. It’s the reason I push WordPress on potential clients and even at my day job today.
You wouldn’t believe how easy it is to stand by an open source project that stands by you.
I encourage you to read the original article by Joe Flood, that this post spawned from. It’s really well written and deserves credit for bringing this small moment at a WordCamp in DC to the forefront.
keep looking »